I haven’t slept well in the last week as the opener of the 2010 waterfowl season approaches. My slumber is thwarted by vivid visions of triples and vibrant green heads falling to my expert marksmanship. Alas if only some dreams could echo a flicker of reality.
Perhaps even more nerve wracking than my mental fatigue from my fitful evenings is the physical exhaustion I am suffering as I prepare the estate for a visit from the Honorable Potentate and Grand Puba . . . the most admirable and exalted President of Duck Power Incorporated. Yes folks, none other than the DuckMan will be joining me for the 2009/10 waterfowl opener.
As is the expected appointment of any host, to the anointed president, it is my charge to insure that all necessary and unnecessary accouterments and accompaniments are prepared and accounted. This includes a laundry lists of events, activities and proceedings that must be completed with military precision.
As I await the arrival of Mr. President, I begin to go over the checklist to insure every detail no matter how small has been rightly accounted. I drill the children with the proper sounds made by Mallards, Teal and Wood Ducks and insure they are holding their popguns with the “dangerous end” pointing in a safe direction.
As I frantically begin to pull together the last minute details, I hear the distant sound of tires slowly rolling up a gravel driveway and know that Mr. President has arrived. Hurriedly, I grab for the camouflage (Max 4 Adv.) carpet and unfurl it to the door of Mr. President’s transport. I take a deep breath and wait for the inspection to begin. Wish me luck!!