Your wife has already told you a thousand times it is the
little things that make the biggest differences. I’m guessing that despite her
best efforts, you still haven’t managed to pay attention to this critical
detail. Well given that Valentines Day is just around the corner, I suggest
that you begin planning now to avoid the embarrassment of potentially coming
home with no card, flowers or chocolates. Trust me, using the phrases; “I
forgot”, “There is always next year” or “No present could ever properly express
how much I love you” are only going to end up landing you in a place I like to
call Hell. So, jump online and
just order flowers, its like pulling off a band-aid, one quick motion, some
pain and then its over. Trust me, despite the initial discomfort of this process,
overall it will be much easier to deal with than the months of not having sex.
So, now that we have got the nonsense of Valentines Day taken
care of, we still need to address this little point about you not paying
attention to details. I am going to guess that you are one of “those” guys that
always shows up in the duck blind without wearing a face mask . . . right? Oh
sure, you have the $250 Gore-Tex Underarmor hunting jacket in AdvHD, matching
waders and ball cap but you still think nothing of showing up without at least
smearing your face with camo paint? Let me guess, your friends scream “KEEP
YOUR HEAD DOWN” as the ducks fly in!! Unforgiveable I say!
See this is what you wife has been bitching about and precisely
why I am going to attempt to help you. I can see right away, that I have my
work cut out for me, because after all these years of her nagging and
complaining, you are still the same old “not paying attention to the little
things” Neanderthal you have always been. Well Mistah that stops now!
It is shameful that it has finally come down to me having to
lecture you but it is what it is. Perhaps before we tackle the larger issue of
you not listening to your wife, we can start with a smaller project designed to
bring you to task. I say lets take a look at something I know you are
interested in, shooting more “stuff”. Yes, I mean that by paying more attention
to the little things, we can make ducks rain down from the sky and turkeys flop
over dead due to the awesomeness of your presence. Ok, maybe not that good but
my suggestions certainly can’t hurt.
To begin, I believe the time has come for you to take a good
look over your existing camouflage and examine it for weaknesses. No, I don’t
mean holes, tears and broken zippers and such, I mean where can you improve you
ability to “blend”. To assist you in this endeavor, here are four potential
areas you should review that are most commonly overlooked.
Face – Though most critical, sportsmen typically overlook
the face. The face is challenging to camouflage in a way that is comfortable
and practical. Bottom line, if you have a face mask that doesn’t fit properly
throw it out, because you ultimately aren’t going to consistently wear it OR worse,
it is going to end up blocking your vision at a crucial moment when you are
trying to take a shot. Trust me this is the voice of experience. Many types of facemasks exist, that will provide adequate
coverage but finding one to match your needs and specific hunting situation can
be exhausting. I currently have about a dozen different facemasks. For example,
one is fleece lined for late season deer; another is all mesh for June turkeys,
then there is the neoprene ½ mask for January sea ducks and finally the full
face fleece lined mask for hunting late season coyotes in brown woodlands
camouflage, black and all white. The trick is to have a wide enough selection
that allows you to always match your facemask to the weather and blend in with
the natural environment you are hunting.
Gloves – When hunting, the two body parts most likely to
move are head and hands. Now since we have already discussed the head, lets
take a look at what you are doing to conceal the visual disturbances caused by
your hands. Ungloved hands create a lot of visual disturbance whether you are repositioning
you firearm for a shot or scratching your head. Again, with this item I have
several different pairs of gloves designed to match the weather and blend with
the environment. Critical with gloves, as previously mentioned with facemasks,
is perfect fit. A badly fitted glove can inadvertently place pressure on a
trigger and cause it to fire at an inopportune time. On the other hand a glove
that is too thin may allow better trigger feel but be grossly ineffective in
warding off the cold. Chemical heater packs and mittens with trigger openings
are a great way to insulate with less “bulk” around your hands, allowing better
control over your rifle’s safety and trigger.
Feet – Of all the body parts, feet are without a doubt the
most often forgotten. Typically hanging freely from high atop a tree sand,
buried in a brush pile or snow bank and rarely moving, hunters ignore their
feet. While not nearly as critical to camouflage as head and hands, in certain
situations feet can really stand out. Think hunter dressed in white camo
standing in a snow-covered field with brown boots and YIKES you can see what I
mean. What most don’t realize, is that feet are incredibly easy to
camouflage without buying a dozen different pairs of boots. One of the easiest
things to do is to simply pull your camouflage pant leg completely over the top
part of the boot rather than tucking it in. This will succeed in hiding about 70%
of the boots total visible area. For additional coverage a small piece of cloth
matched to you hunting conditions can be draped over your boots to make them
less obvious. The trick is to create less sharp lines and more of a “fuzzy”
silhouette.
I understand that this is only a first small step young Jedi
in you tutelage to become more adept at seeing, acting upon and appreciating
the little things but remember that even the greatest journey must begin with a
single step. Take my advice into consideration and perhaps by next Valentines
Day you might be able to show the wife your
O face.
Also read this article on the science of Camouflage:
http://www.whitetailu.com/camo.htm