Monday, December 23, 2013

Bigger is always better . . . 12 Gauge Shotshell Thermos!

Bigger is always better and man law states that if you don’t drive a truck, own a higher caliber rifle or have a larger boot size than your friends, you might just as well turn in your man card, pour yourself an Appletini and go watch the Bachelor with your girlfriends. Yes, it pays to have the biggest whatever and often just having it will elicit instant respect in the “man” community. Do not be fooled by sayings like, “it’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean” . . . these sayings are lies! It is ALL about the size of your boat and I don’t even know what they mean by “motion of the ocean” . . . I just call them WAVES.

For those sportsmen looking to go BIG and not go HOME, I suggest ordering the new 12 Gauge Shotshell Thermos from the fine folks at Duluth Trading Company. This mammoth sized conversation starter is made from stainless steel fire hardened in the deep depths of Mordor. This baby can keep 25 ounces of your favorite drink piping hot for up to 24 hours. The tip-proof cup has a wide base for stability on uneven surfaces and is constructed of rugged metal for years of abuse. The one-touch stopper lets you pour single-handed with ease, a definite benefit for when cold temps discourage removing gloves or when the need to keep a free hand on your shotgun arises.

If you aren’t planning to be driving, shooting a firearm or pretty much needing your body to function properly for the next 24 hours, I suggest trying the following recipe for keeping warm on the ice this winter. Start by boiling some water and filling up your new “man” thermos. Let the water sit in the thermos for approximately 10 minutes, this little trick preheats the interior metal and will keep your liquid hotter longer on those brutally cold winter days. Next fill the thermos ½ full of boiling water and add to it 3-4 packets of instant cocoa mix. Lastly, fill the remaining space with Dr. McGillicuddy's peppermint schnapps, put on the top and shake vigorously. I cannot be responsible for your safety, so make sure to take all necessary precautions…last will and testament, etc. before consumption.

FYI: Maine law states that you may not have at any time more than three of these thermoses in your duck blind at anytime. Yes, I know it is a screwed up law but this is Maine, ninety percent of our hunting and fishing laws are overly complicated and don’t make any sense. Have I mentioned that we are only one of 6 states remaining that doesn’t allow Sunday hunting? Nuff said!

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