Your "REAL" LL Bean Boyfriend

After recently reading the latest VIRAL Internet sensation: Your LL Bean Boyfriend, I began to ponder the specific qualities that women are looking for in a man? The site boasts the tag line: “Your LL Bean boyfriend BUILDS A TABLE and then has SEX with you on it". According to this bold statement, there seems to apparently be a connection between a man’s understanding of woodcrafting and his sexual prowess. I assume in all actuality, one could combine these two qualities into one simple statement and just say that women are looking for a man “good with wood” or a man who is perhaps a master "wood" worker.

Well, ladies I hate to be the one to break it to you but those damn posers in the LL Bean catalogue are pure fantasy. Much like what I am going to assume most of the Victoria Secret models look like minus the make-up and air brushing . . . throw those guys out of a photo shoot and into the unforgiving Maine woods and I give them all about 20 minutes before they start crying for their mommies. I laugh, when I think of poor LL Bean model Silas, sitting in a tree stand wearing his pants with little duckies on them or fancy sweater depicting a polar bear tickle fight, screaming like a little girl when a big black bear walks into his bait site.

I can guarantee that if any of those guys from the LL Bean catalog, “Signature” edition, showed up at deer camp they would be flogged and likely made into someone’s camp bitch. Yes, I agree that statement was perhaps a tad bit harsh but real men, who make tables and have sex with their women on them, are made of harsher, sterner stuff and not what is depicted in the LL Bean catalogue.

To perhaps provide a bit of comic relief, mockery and shameful comment related to Your LL Bean Boyfriend, I offer this reminder to all you women out there that depicted in the pictures below, are what REAL Maine men look and act like. We may not all be handsome, well groomed, recently bathed or dressed in the latest fashions and styles but our women most definitely find us handy in the workshop as well as the bedroom.

"Listen heah Deah, using a few feathers is sexy, only when 

using the whole bird does it become perverted", said Steve.

"Honey. I thought this is what you meant when you said

 you wanted to try two guns at the same time", said Tony.

"Hi Hotstuff, I finally reached the top of Katahdin and wanted

 to txt you this photo to express my love", said Steve.

Baby, did you want your steak well 
done or medium rare?, said Steve

"Darlin' understand that when a man tells you to pull his finger, 
it is impossible to resist. Sorry about the smell sweetheart", said Steve.

"Hun, I know your hard nipples turn me on 

. . . do my hard nipples turn you on?", said Tony.

"Do I make you horny 

baby, well do I?", said Tony.