This Smoothie Will Make You A . . . |
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portable means, like breakfast burritos, power bars, canned sardines are faster
and more mobile choices but each have their own unique drawbacks. Burritos need
to be kept warm, bars have noisy wrappers and sardines . . . well, just plain
stink! These are all challenges to the hunter who wants to fill this rumbling
belly quickly, silently and without lingering smells.
There exists
little doubt in my mind that this post will make me the center of scorn and
ridicule. I am certain many of my sporting brethren are going to receive
perverse pleasure in taunting my less than manly posting on “smoothies”.
However, to these naysayers I will not bow, for I have found what could
potentially be the easiest and fastest breakfast on the planet! Not only does
it have the benefit of being able to be consumed quickly, speeding your
departure to the blind or stand but it also contains the hunger taming ferocity
of a Bengal tiger (or sexual tyrannosaurus) . Fill a 32 oz container with this magical elixir and be free
of a growling stomach for at least 5 hours.
In a blender
combine all of the following elements and mix the heck out of it until it has a
smooth consistency. When properly mixed, finish by pouring everything into a
large container with a tight fitting top. (I find that Nalgene and large mouth
Gatorade bottles work great). Make sure to use a high quality container, as
this is definitely not the type of beverage you ever want to have to strain out
of your hunting pack.
This recipe
isn’t an exact science on the measurements, as each person should take this
basic structure and modify to their individual tastes and needs. Here however
are the basics:
The Manly Sportsman Smoothie:
1. 2 Bananas
2. 1 Packet
of Vanilla Instant Breakfast
3. 2 Cups of
Liquid Egg Product
4. ½ Cup of
Honey
5. 2
Teaspoons of Wheat Germ
6. 2 Cups of
Spinach or ½ an Avocado
7. 2 Cups of
OJ, Milk or some preferable fruit juice
8. 2 Table
Spoons of Peanut Butter
9. 2
Teaspoons of Grated Ginger
10. 2 Cups
of Yogurt
*If this somehow magically adds up to 32 ozs I would be AMAZED! So, fill blender with caution.
For optimal absorption and to avoid being “over full”, take a few big gulps before heading out, a few more once at your location and smaller sips throughout the morning. By spacing out your consumption, the fullness factor seems to linger a bit longer.
Other links to less manly Smoothie recipes:
If anyone
has any other great “hunter” breakfast recipes to share please drop a comment!
Thanks!
Bro rule #48- Manly and Smoothie are to never be used in the same sentence.
ReplyDeleteThat is all!
I was half expecting one of your smoothie ingredients to be sardines haha.
ReplyDeleteI may try this. -Only- because you quoted Predator and it is by far, one of the best movies ever made.
It would be quicker to make the bacon and eggs...
ReplyDeleteTrey, mockery from my brother in arms against Mr. President! I expect more from you! Ok maybe not . . . mock away!
ReplyDeleteAlex, Sardines . . . hmmmmmmmmm.
ReplyDelete2nd best movie ever . . . my favorite is Driving Miss Daisy.
DDH,
ReplyDeleteI set up a post with the express purpose of encouraging mockery from my adoring fan base and that is the best you can do!?!?! I may have to take back my invite to Island Falls.
I'm saving my coal for a bigger fire...
ReplyDeleteDDH, Why does that comment cause me significant worry. :(
ReplyDeleteI am with Alex....I am shocked there are no sardines in this concoction. I had to read the recipe twice to make sure I didn't miss them!
ReplyDeleteLB, You guys are killing me . . . LMAO!
ReplyDeleteI always thought of myself as kinda "manly", what with the whole safari business and all. Reading this recipe made me gag a little. That sounds terrible and I know now that I am not a true manly man-lady. Thank you. LOL.
ReplyDeleteGlad that your not a man-lady. Though strangely, it would likely double your chances of finding a date on a Friday night. :)
Delete