Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Manly Sportsman Smoothie

This Smoothie Will Make You A . . .
For years, I had struggled to find the perfect “Outdoorsman” breakfast. A simple meal that doesn’t leave me wanting to take a mid morning nap, yet still keeps me fueled till early afternoon. While the typical hunters breakfast of eggs, bacon, pancakes and corned beef hash is delicious, filling and a powerful way to start a long day hunting, extended preparation and eating time make this choice a difficult prospect. For the excited hunter, wanting to rush out the door and get to his/her stand before first light, this is rarely a viable option.

More portable means, like breakfast burritos, power bars, canned sardines are faster and more mobile choices but each have their own unique drawbacks. Burritos need to be kept warm, bars have noisy wrappers and sardines . . . well, just plain stink! These are all challenges to the hunter who wants to fill this rumbling belly quickly, silently and without lingering smells.

There exists little doubt in my mind that this post will make me the center of scorn and ridicule. I am certain many of my sporting brethren are going to receive perverse pleasure in taunting my less than manly posting on “smoothies”. However, to these naysayers I will not bow, for I have found what could potentially be the easiest and fastest breakfast on the planet! Not only does it have the benefit of being able to be consumed quickly, speeding your departure to the blind or stand but it also contains the hunger taming ferocity of a Bengal tiger (or sexual tyrannosaurus) . Fill a 32 oz container with this magical elixir and be free of a growling stomach for at least 5 hours.

In a blender combine all of the following elements and mix the heck out of it until it has a smooth consistency. When properly mixed, finish by pouring everything into a large container with a tight fitting top. (I find that Nalgene and large mouth Gatorade bottles work great). Make sure to use a high quality container, as this is definitely not the type of beverage you ever want to have to strain out of your hunting pack.

This recipe isn’t an exact science on the measurements, as each person should take this basic structure and modify to their individual tastes and needs. Here however are the basics:

The Manly Sportsman Smoothie:
1. 2 Bananas
2. 1 Packet of Vanilla Instant Breakfast
3. 2 Cups of Liquid Egg Product
4. ½ Cup of Honey
5. 2 Teaspoons of Wheat Germ
6. 2 Cups of Spinach or ½ an Avocado
7. 2 Cups of OJ, Milk or some preferable fruit juice
8. 2 Table Spoons of Peanut Butter
9. 2 Teaspoons of Grated Ginger
10. 2 Cups of Yogurt

*If this somehow magically adds up to 32 ozs I would be AMAZED! So, fill blender with caution.

For optimal absorption and to avoid being “over full”, take a few big gulps before heading out, a few more once at your location and smaller sips throughout the morning. By spacing out your consumption, the fullness factor seems to linger a bit longer.

Other links to less manly Smoothie recipes:

If anyone has any other great “hunter” breakfast recipes to share please drop a comment! Thanks!


  1. Bro rule #48- Manly and Smoothie are to never be used in the same sentence.

    That is all!

  2. I was half expecting one of your smoothie ingredients to be sardines haha.

    I may try this. -Only- because you quoted Predator and it is by far, one of the best movies ever made.

  3. It would be quicker to make the bacon and eggs...

  4. Trey, mockery from my brother in arms against Mr. President! I expect more from you! Ok maybe not . . . mock away!

  5. Alex, Sardines . . . hmmmmmmmmm.

    2nd best movie ever . . . my favorite is Driving Miss Daisy.

  6. DDH,
    I set up a post with the express purpose of encouraging mockery from my adoring fan base and that is the best you can do!?!?! I may have to take back my invite to Island Falls.

  7. I'm saving my coal for a bigger fire...

  8. DDH, Why does that comment cause me significant worry. :(

  9. I am with Alex....I am shocked there are no sardines in this concoction. I had to read the recipe twice to make sure I didn't miss them!

  10. LB, You guys are killing me . . . LMAO!

  11. I always thought of myself as kinda "manly", what with the whole safari business and all. Reading this recipe made me gag a little. That sounds terrible and I know now that I am not a true manly man-lady. Thank you. LOL.

    1. Glad that your not a man-lady. Though strangely, it would likely double your chances of finding a date on a Friday night. :)


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