Monday, February 13, 2012

Camo: Little Changes Make Big Difference

Your wife has already told you a thousand times it is the little things that make the biggest differences. I’m guessing that despite her best efforts, you still haven’t managed to pay attention to this critical detail. Well given that Valentines Day is just around the corner, I suggest that you begin planning now to avoid the embarrassment of potentially coming home with no card, flowers or chocolates. Trust me, using the phrases; “I forgot”, “There is always next year” or “No present could ever properly express how much I love you” are only going to end up landing you in a place I like to call Hell.  So, jump online and just order flowers, its like pulling off a band-aid, one quick motion, some pain and then its over. Trust me, despite the initial discomfort of this process, overall it will be much easier to deal with than the months of not having sex.

So, now that we have got the nonsense of Valentines Day taken care of, we still need to address this little point about you not paying attention to details. I am going to guess that you are one of “those” guys that always shows up in the duck blind without wearing a face mask . . . right? Oh sure, you have the $250 Gore-Tex Underarmor hunting jacket in AdvHD, matching waders and ball cap but you still think nothing of showing up without at least smearing your face with camo paint? Let me guess, your friends scream “KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN” as the ducks fly in!! Unforgiveable I say!

See this is what you wife has been bitching about and precisely why I am going to attempt to help you. I can see right away, that I have my work cut out for me, because after all these years of her nagging and complaining, you are still the same old “not paying attention to the little things” Neanderthal you have always been. Well Mistah that stops now!

It is shameful that it has finally come down to me having to lecture you but it is what it is. Perhaps before we tackle the larger issue of you not listening to your wife, we can start with a smaller project designed to bring you to task. I say lets take a look at something I know you are interested in, shooting more “stuff”. Yes, I mean that by paying more attention to the little things, we can make ducks rain down from the sky and turkeys flop over dead due to the awesomeness of your presence. Ok, maybe not that good but my suggestions certainly can’t hurt.

To begin, I believe the time has come for you to take a good look over your existing camouflage and examine it for weaknesses. No, I don’t mean holes, tears and broken zippers and such, I mean where can you improve you ability to “blend”. To assist you in this endeavor, here are four potential areas you should review that are most commonly overlooked.

Face – Though most critical, sportsmen typically overlook the face. The face is challenging to camouflage in a way that is comfortable and practical. Bottom line, if you have a face mask that doesn’t fit properly throw it out, because you ultimately aren’t going to consistently wear it OR worse, it is going to end up blocking your vision at a crucial moment when you are trying to take a shot. Trust me this is the voice of experience. Many types of facemasks exist, that will provide adequate coverage but finding one to match your needs and specific hunting situation can be exhausting. I currently have about a dozen different facemasks. For example, one is fleece lined for late season deer; another is all mesh for June turkeys, then there is the neoprene ½ mask for January sea ducks and finally the full face fleece lined mask for hunting late season coyotes in brown woodlands camouflage, black and all white. The trick is to have a wide enough selection that allows you to always match your facemask to the weather and blend in with the natural environment you are hunting.

Gloves – When hunting, the two body parts most likely to move are head and hands. Now since we have already discussed the head, lets take a look at what you are doing to conceal the visual disturbances caused by your hands. Ungloved hands create a lot of visual disturbance whether you are repositioning you firearm for a shot or scratching your head. Again, with this item I have several different pairs of gloves designed to match the weather and blend with the environment. Critical with gloves, as previously mentioned with facemasks, is perfect fit. A badly fitted glove can inadvertently place pressure on a trigger and cause it to fire at an inopportune time. On the other hand a glove that is too thin may allow better trigger feel but be grossly ineffective in warding off the cold. Chemical heater packs and mittens with trigger openings are a great way to insulate with less “bulk” around your hands, allowing better control over your rifle’s safety and trigger.

Feet – Of all the body parts, feet are without a doubt the most often forgotten. Typically hanging freely from high atop a tree sand, buried in a brush pile or snow bank and rarely moving, hunters ignore their feet. While not nearly as critical to camouflage as head and hands, in certain situations feet can really stand out. Think hunter dressed in white camo standing in a snow-covered field with brown boots and YIKES you can see what I mean. What most don’t realize, is that feet are incredibly easy to camouflage without buying a dozen different pairs of boots. One of the easiest things to do is to simply pull your camouflage pant leg completely over the top part of the boot rather than tucking it in. This will succeed in hiding about 70% of the boots total visible area. For additional coverage a small piece of cloth matched to you hunting conditions can be draped over your boots to make them less obvious. The trick is to create less sharp lines and more of a “fuzzy” silhouette.

I understand that this is only a first small step young Jedi in you tutelage to become more adept at seeing, acting upon and appreciating the little things but remember that even the greatest journey must begin with a single step. Take my advice into consideration and perhaps by next Valentines Day you might be able to show the wife your O face.

Also read this article on the science of Camouflage:


  1. Have you ever thought about camo body paint? Or maybe a full body camo tattoo?

  2. SB, Thanks bud. I hope you enjoyed your Valentines Day! LOL!

  3. PBM, Camo Face Tattoo! It would be like the Red Necks version of the Hangover 2!


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