Perched in my tree stand high above the forest floor, I have had hours and hours of time to think and contemplate new story ideas. As I ponder the plethora of articles written on hunting deer, there is certainly a significant challenge to write something different. Moon phases, the rut, rifle selection, camouflage patterns, cover scents, etc. all have been done a thousand times. What is an outdoor sports writer to do? To what desperate lengths will he sink to uncover new material? After an exhaustive review of my options and some deep soul searching, I have decide to challenge myself to write an article on the most understated and underappreciated piece of deer hunting equipment . . . the pee bottle. This is obviously meant to be humorous so please enjoy it as such and as usual don’t take anything I say to seriously!
Ode to the Pee Bottle Part I:
As the sun creeps slowly over the horizon, a heavy frost retreats from the cattail lined swamp. Sitting in my deer stand, I have a front row seat to the awakening of a beautiful new day. As I silently reflect on all of the other sunrises I have enjoyed over my lifetime, a sudden and unexpected shiver runs down my spine. Is it caused by the penetrating pre-dawn cold, the distant crunching of frozen leaves or perhaps a breath of wind blowing through a chink in my armor of winter clothing? No, it is the calling of that most basic of human bodily functions, angrily provoked by an entire pot of morning coffee.
Frantically digging through my gear, I am struck by panic. Further exploration into the depth of my backpack only justifies my fears, I had forgotten to pack that most valuable of deer hunting hardware, the pee bottle. As my molars put up sand bags and tonsils sing out a chorus of anchors away, my bladder swells to the breaking point! In this instant of pain and suffering, I am momentarily distracted by a distant memory from a simpler time.
80s big hair band Cinderella once sang a ballad entitled "Don't know what you got till its gone", as I began humming that infectious melody, I come to the sudden realization that there remained one final pocket I had failed to search. Fumbling for the zipper, a golden moment of Zen is attained when the contents are revealed to be an empty 32 oz, large mouth Gatorade bottle. It is at times like these, that it is easy to validate a pee bottles importance as second only to your rifle and possibly bullets.
For More Read the Completion of the Series Pee Bottle Part 2.