Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Duckman Cometh (Part II)

The evening festivities went well and I busily assembled the tents, cooked supper, drank ½ a bottle of homemade wine, read a short book and said a few prayers as the Duckman attempted to light a campfire. I was understandably concerned that Duckman’s valiant attempts at fire building were raining sparks and embers onto my nylon tents. He managed to produce every excuse in the book for his failings and grasped at a few more before I finally handed him a bowl of hot stew, a bottle of wine and told him to sit back while I tried my had at the fire pit. Minutes later, I had produced a roaring fire that the Duckman described in a mumbled voice as “lucky”.

We both relaxed back in our crazy creek chairs as the fire roared and the lies were told. Though our expected wake up time was set at around 4:00 AM we still managed to stay up until 11:00 talking through subjects from politics and blogging to hunting and fishing. Finally, we managed to decide some sleep was needed and we packed ourselves into the tents and dreamed of three shot bursts, good dogs and clouds of Greenheads that filled the skies. Sleep was interrupted through the night by Onyx who was also excited to participate in the next days activities and Duckman’s frequent farting and snoring. Though I only managed a few hours sleep I still snapped to full attention when the Duckman announced at 3:30 AM that someone was in the blind and stealing his prized shotgun! As I threw on my waders and thrashed around trying to locate my headlamp the Duckman ran down over the other side of the island with his two million candle power spotlight. As he shined the laser beam across the surface of the lake I could hear the honking and flying of several hundred Canadian Geese as they were frightened off the waters surface a few dozen yards from the duck blind. Moments later, I received a cell phone call from the Duckman indicating that while attempting to reach his highly valued shotgun he had managed to become “stuck” in the mud . . . right away I could see that you can take a boy off the salt BUT you can’t take the salt out of the boy. I began to ponder on these events . . . had the Duckman spent so much time on the Atlantic in recent years that he had lost his ability to survive in the Maine forests?

Well, while Duckman unstuck himself I managed to collect the rest of the gear, pack the boat, feed the dog and have breakfast. I was now in no hurry to stop the would be criminal who had earlier incurred the Duckman’s wrath as I was confident that NOBODY was stupid enough to mess with the flailing, mud soaked, hollering and yelling Duckman (AKA Swamp Thing). As I collected Duckman and paddled with him and the dog down the southern side of the island a light rain began to fall and I knew this was going to be one of those morning that all duck hunters live for . . .


  1. Choke, Choke, Cough, Cough, did you just print your most slanderous blog to date??? I suppose that maybe I struggled with the fire, snored a little, and yes I was panic stricken with the idea that several thousand dollars worth of hunting equipment was sitting just one hundred feet away but only accessible by either waders or boat. Good blog buddy, glad to know that you only pulled the trigger on your flamethrower a couple of times...

    DEDH out

  2. So, did he get his gun back??

    Your details are vivid... I'm sure the duckman is going to love this post! Cracked me up!

  3. Extremely entertaining.

    I got a good chuckle off of this and I'm curious to hear Duckman's side of the story. lol

  4. If it wasn't for everyone's strange accent I would move north for better duck hunting....haha just a joke buddy.It's always great having someone with you to experience those great days.

  5. hi, came over from Othmars site and have enjoyed your site

  6. HEHE . . . it is true that I did invoke a few literary injustices in the description of our camping expedition and your involvement in those activities. No harm no FOWL! :)

    Glad you are a good sport and have broad shoulders! :)

  7. DEDH . . . again my apologies . . . . LOL! :)

    SAHMFM . . . no one was stealing the Duckman's gun it was just part of some crazy sleep deprived dream he was having. I swear the guy lives for drama! :)

    Jodi . . . Duckmans take on the situation from his site is great. He isn't quite as funny as I am but then again who is?!?!?!

    Editor . . . excellent glad you found the blog. Make sure you take a look at "the downeast duck hunter" as well as his site is a great companion site to mine.


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